What to Do When No One Shows Up
I am certain that if you spend five minutes perusing the blogosphere for what to do when only a few (or one) show up to a planned program or event, you will find an overabundance of answers. And most of those will tell you to focus on that one (or couple) student. Invest in them, pour in them, because God has allowed you to have time with that teenager. And this is solid advice, so take it and run with it.
But what if no one shows up to a program or event?
Recently I had this happen to me. We had a movie night that several teens had said they would be attending, either through talking to me or by responding via the web. But when the evening came, no one showed. And what might be considered worse, most of them did not remember until I brought it up the next morning in Sunday School. In fact, it was fodder for one of my more confessional posts about remembering that they are adolescents. So what can we learn, and what do we need to remember if (more likely, when) this happens?
- Remember that they are adolescents. There will be times when teens simply forget that there is something going on, or that they committed to being there. Following through on commitments is something we need to teach teens, as it is normal for them to forget. They are adolescents, not done cooking yet.
- Evaluate the event or program – Don’t do all your evaluating in the moment, as you will be encouraged to make rash decisions because of your emotional state. Take time to look at the program or event and see if it was merely a bad night, a sign that the program needs retooled, or evidence that this particular event needs dropped altogether. Make sure you evaluate with other leadership, as they can bring a perspective you might not be able to see.
- Use the time to spend with God – You just showed up in the Youth Room, a gym, or a park waiting for teens to show up and no one came? Take advantage of the alone time, grab your Bible and find a quiet place to settle in for a bit and read, pray and rest in God’s presence. Consider that He may have set this time up in order for you to rest in Him (perhaps you have been letting that slip lately?)
- Go Home – Spend time with your family. If you are married, your wife should be pleasantly surprised at this unexpected chunk of time together. Got kids? They’ll love to see you.
- Don’t take it personally – This is one of the most important items in this list. As Student Ministers (volunteer or paid) we spend a lot of our time putting our emotions out there, risking damage and injury. Do not take this as an attack on yourself personally. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the lie that teens didn’t show up because they dislike you (of course if this begins to happen regularly, you might want to explore this idea). Simply remind yourself that they are teenagers who most likely forgot, or weren’t really all that interested in this particular activity.
Have you ever had an event or a program that had zero attendance?
No way. Take that personally, and write these people out. Friends don’t constantly bail. Ditch em, don’t be civil. Be blunt, and say what you really feel.
Thanks for your input Thatguy. Your thoughts are exactly the sort of things that always ran through my mind when this type of situation would happen. But taking things personally as a youth pastor when students don’t show up is very counter-productive to ministry. There are certainly times to be blunt, but within youth ministry civility and tact need to be used more frequently. We just need to remember to be honest. I have worked with some teens that I have been forced to write off, but I have had others that after some hard work I was able to build strong relationships with that allowed me to walk alongside them through good times and bad. And that is where the most effective ministry takes place, within the relationships, not within the contexts of a group gathering or big event.