Running on Empty
Last week I had to wear many hats. This is nothing new for me (Youth Pastor = many hats, dad = many hats, husband = many hats, etc.), but with Kelly developing pneumonia (after starting off with simple flu), I needed to strap a few more hats on. I did a quick count to see what I had: father, mother, husband, nurse, actor (Easter musical), pastor, tech guy, and a few more. And most of these hats come with several smaller hats that have to be attended to. I say this not to toot my own horn, or to brag about how many hats I can fit on my head (which admittedly, at times can accommodate quite a few hats…in other words I can get conceited, just being honest). Nor do I say this to brag about how well I accomplished everything (toward the end of the week I really began to slip). No, I say this to share something else entirely.
I am worn out.
I have been struggling with resting well lately. I can relax, and I can rest. But I have not been unplugging myself in the ways that I need to in order to really be able to recharge. I find myself taking more and more work home with me and multitasking at the end of the day rather than truly resting. I have been realizing that I do this more than I thought, and it is catching up with me again. In the past this has led to burnout, and I have no desire to go through that process again.
I need to set up some walls and not engage. I find that I can often be more rested by disengaging for a time. And I have not done this in a while.
But I sorely need to disengage.
Because running on empty (as I feel like I am doing right now) is not good for a car. Nor is it good for my soul. If there is nothing inside of me to power my own engine, there is nothing to pour out into the students and adults who have been entrusted into my shepherding. And that would be a disservice at the very least.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”