Earlier this week Kelly and I were able to send the kids off to my parents (and sister’s) place(s) for a couple of days. It is so nice living close enough to be able to do that! We did this because we realized that we have not been able to rest well over the past 6 weeks or so. (And of course, because what grandparent doesn’t want to see their grandchildren?) We have been running constantly and been remarkably busy being parents, spouses, youth pastor, volunteer, homemaker, chef, janitor and a variety of other jobs. True, we have had one day (sometimes two) each week to push pause on many of those jobs and rest a little. But overall, we have not taken time for just Kelly and myself to be husband and wife.
So we shipped the kids off to Gramms and Papa’s house!
In this I was reminded of a very valuable lesson that I learned in college, and has been in the back of my mind ever since (and I am sure I have heard from multiple other sources along the way, but have forgotten). I need to make time for my wife. I am really good at making time for my family. And I am conscious of placing my wife’s needs high on the priority list. But we have not been able to have an evening to ourselves where we could just enjoy each other’s company. The last time we had even been able to go out and see a movie together was when Star Trek premiered on the big screen. In 2009. When I drafted a ministry manual as part of my Senior Seminar course at Geneva College, I included provisions for a regular date night with my wife. I am sad to report that I have failed regularly in this area, but I am attempting to rectify this error.
So let me pass on this wisdom to you. Even if you have kids, make it a point to have a date night with your spouse, at least once a month. (I would love multiple times a month, I just have to be creative with it. Not a bad thing at all, just a little extra planning). Allow yourselves to focus on that part of the relationship that God has called you to. He wants you to grow as a couple, and not to forget that you are husband and wife just as much as you are mom and dad. Often we give in to the defeat of allowing ourselves to sink so deep into parental routines that we lose sight of this. Give yourselves permission to get away once in a while and enjoy a date night.